By Anna Von Reitz
A discussion came up today about "the darkest part of our nature" which some use to describe sexual perversions and abuses.
But no, that isn't the "darkest part of our nature".
The secret that everyone truly avoids and steps around has nothing to do with sex, and instead, centers around an even more taboo subject: death.
There is a part of us that loves death. There is a part of us that yearns for death.
The truth is that we are bound and constrained by our bodies, and at some level, we know that, and resent it.
The truth is, that even though we might be completely happy in our lives, we don't want to continue being whoever we are forever.
We get hungry for something new and different, and wish to lay the burdens of this life down.
The truth is that one life can never be enough for us.
The truth is that the weariness of being one person in one place and one time wears upon us like an old dirty shirt.
But we don't want to admit that to ourselves or our families or our neighbors and friends. It's too taboo to even mention it.
Yet we all know people that we have loved, to whom death was a blessing.
Bodies worn out, horizons closing in, the last attractions and beauties of life worn away, clouded by pain and infirmity until there is no reason left, and gracefully as a tree falls, they are gone with the sunset.
If we are honest, we didn't want to know, but we knew. We felt their relief.
We all sense, somehow, when we really sit down and allow ourselves to think about it, that death is a good thing.
It's just our opinion of its timing, our needs, our desires that it upsets, but not the central and unavoidable and arcane and unmentionable fact that.... at some level, we are dying every day that we live, and we understand that.
It's familiar. When you die, it feels like you have done it at hundred thousand times. And maybe you have.
One moment you are breathing, the next you are not.
One moment, you are trapped inside your body, the next you are not.
Just as one day you were enclosed within your Mother and "breathing" water and were born into this world, another transformation comes.
I have died several times, once for seven minutes.
Each time, these "Near Death Experiences" have taught me something about death and about myself, too.
It requires a will to live, and so we do. We force ourselves to get up every morning and greet the day with whatever wisdom and gratitude we can muster. And it is wise to choose life, because we all came here for a reason.
Still, the darkness we cherish in our bosom late at night, the darkness we never-ever talk about, the thing that is so infinitely intimate, that we all know, that we can't reconcile, is death.
That Secret Sharer in our life, that unknown, silent as the space between words, Arbiter, gives meaning to our lives, dictates the stage within which we move and breathe and have our meaning, and mercifully, too, sets an endpoint to the otherwise endless effort.
The truth is we wouldn't want to live forever as just me or just you.
Interesting as it is, as fulfilling as it may be, useful as we may be to others, there is this other thing, this humility that knows we are meant to come and go like breath itself -- and it's alright that this is so.
We will never be lost and never truly die, because we are part of All That Is, because we see ourselves in the stars and the grains of sand, hear our voice in the water, and let our imaginations drift on the wind.
The vain supposition that life ends in a grave and in the corruption of the flesh is a willful ignorance; for death is always close beside us, willing to teach us; and though we choose another path for another day, we know that there is something quite beyond this moment in which we live.
----------------------------
To support this work look for the Donate button on this website.
How do we use your donations? Find out here.
